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Life is only as beautiful as you make it…..so make it fucking gorgeous.

March 22, 2014

In life, we often forget how many things we can control. We often forget how many things we can choose. We often forget, that in many ways, we ultimately have the power to make our lives beautiful and the power to make our lives ugly. Think about it…..we choose to stay in relationships, we choose to live in certain places, we choose the jobs we have, we choose our hobbies, we choose how, what and where to spend our time. …These are all choices, every single one-yet people often view life as void of these choices, thinking to themselves negative thoughts such as, “I have to keep this job I don’t love, I have to stay in these toxic relationships, I have to live in a place I can barely afford in a city I don’t even enjoy..I have to do these things now….and maybe one day, maybe one day…maybe one day….I will be happy.” When I hear people say these things, I feel sad that they have forgotten the purpose of life….and I feel sad that they may have never truly known the purpose in the first place. The truth is, we are given this gift of life, this INCREDIBLE gift to be alive. How we choose to live it, the choices we make during our journey….well- we get one chance to make the most of our short time on this earth, so we better do our fucking best to make it worth it.

What makes life worth it, varies from person to person. What drives me, may not be the same as what drives someone else. For me, I am driven to make choices that lead me to explore, lead me to love, lead me to learn, lead me to laughter, lead me to travel, lead me to take risks, lead me to family, lead me to meaningful friendships and lead me to smile. These choices do not always equate to happiness, yet for me and my soul, they open the pathways to it. When I have a choice, I choose experiences that foster these things that are sacred to me.

With all of that being said, there are many parts of life that happen by pure chance. Incredibly powerful things can happen in our lives completely and utterly by chance. Things we have no control over, things we have no choice over…..when these things happen, whether good or bad, you become insanely aware of the distinct line between what you can control in life, and what you have no control over.

One of the most prominent things that have happened in my life completely by chance is getting cancer. After many, many, many tests, I have learned that the genes that decided to mutate made their choice to do so completely on their own, and none of my choices in life could have changed that. That fact alone, is a novel all in itself. How I feel about that, well….I will save that for another day.

Even though cancer happened to me by chance, I have a choice of how to live my life with cancer. I have a choice whether or not to let it define me. I have a choice whether or not to let it touch my soul. I have a choice whether or not to let it break my heart. These are all choices. Not easy choices, yet they are all choices I can make, they are all choices I can control. I choose to face this disease with dignity and grace, I choose to leave no stone unturned in regards to my treatments, and above all- I choose to promise myself to never look back on this part of my life and have any regrets. It feels really fucking good to know I have the power to make these choices. So even if cancer came into my life by chance it will not leave me powerless and will not take away my ability to make choices that lead me to explore, lead me to love, lead me to learn, lead me to laughter, lead me to travel, lead me to take risks, lead me to family, lead me to meaningful friendships and lead me to smile.

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